The Princess and the C

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.

It's so hard to pick one person who has impacted me and since I don't have an actual photo of God, that answer is out. My mom has had a huge impact on me and my dad had an enormous impact too, but the person I'm going to pick is the person who has assisted me with the most life changing stuff over the last 6 years. I'm going to, in all cheesiness, pick my husband, Chris.

When I first got out of treatment, I moved in with Chris. For those of you who don't know, I met him while I was in treatment and we had an amazing, romantic, sweetest-courtship-in-the-whole-wide-world. If I told you the whole story, you probably wouldn't believe me. It was that astounding. By the time I got out of treatment on Christmas eve of 2004, we had been corresponding by letter for 3 months. No kisses, no visits, just letters. So, when I got out, I promptly began living with Chris in the mother-in-law apartment at his parents house (what? most people don't immediately begin co-habitating before they really know each other?) I then started working as an admin at Chris' sister's marketing firm. He gave me money whenever I needed it, took me to lovely dinners, went here and there and everywhere. Most of all, he showed me love. Really genuine love. I didn't have to go to an Oxford house like the other girls after treatment, work at a lame job at a convenience store, be poor and uncomfortable all the time.... these are things that surely would've headed me for a relapse. On top of all that, Chris made it possible for me to buy plane tickets so I could travel to Montana and California to visit my mom and my dad really as often as I wanted. This was so wonderful, considering I had to completely rebuild relationships with my family and at the time, my dad had cancer. I don't know what I would've done if I hadn't had that time with my dad before he died. On top of all that, I was a huge emotional hot mess when I got sober. I was a daily emotional rollercoaster and it really was not the fairy tale Chris or I had counted on. I'm pretty sure he felt like bolting more than once. I know I did and I was the problem!

When I met Chris I had nothing. I had no real friends, strained relationships with my entire family, no money, nothing of value, no self worth, no self esteem, no relationship with God in my life, no car, no home, nothing. While a lot of the things Chris gave me were material things, he gave me something priceless too: a chance at a better life. I realize I did the footwork: I went to meetings, worked on myself, showed up for work everyday, that kind of stuff. Ultimately though, Chris was the catalyst for giving me the opportunities to succeed at. He gave me his family and they have always been there for me, accepted me and loved me, even before they knew me. I am now an account executive at the same marketing firm I started as a gopher at. I have a car, a nice one. Chris gave me my dog, and she is one of the best things to happen to me. He has given me experiences and opportunities I never ever would've had without him in my life. He has been instrumental in my spiritual walk with God, always encouraging, sharing his knowledge and pushing me to be a better person.

I can honestly say my life today is better because of Christopher. He has taught me so much about life, about love and about being a good friend. We have been through the wringer together and each and every time we come out stronger and better because of it. Don't get me wrong, I would be fine today if we hadn't endured some of the drama, but life happens how it happens and as long as we can take a lesson from the struggle, it isn't a waste. I realize Chris isn't perfect and we all have our character defects. Overall though, he has made the biggest impact on who I am today. Because I didn't have to do many of the uncomfortable things that many women in my position would have to endure while cleaning up the wreckage of their past, I had a pretty well paved road and less worry while I was getting my life together. I had luxury problems instead of addict problems. I am forever grateful to him for giving me the opportunities he did and I can honestly say I have never met a more generous man in my life. Thank you to Chris for believing in me when he had no reason to and for loving me when I was bratty and unlovable and for treating me like a princess at a time when I was more of a frog. I love you.

Love, Lisa